GETTING HITCHED UP

I was in the middle of a long traffic jam when I heard this old familiar lines from a classic novelty song:

“Kung tayo ay matanda na, sana’y di tayo magbago…”

The storyline was simple – staying together fulfilling your marriage vows, until your senile years. And I cant help but think about my present relationship with a wonderful woman (sorry meowchi, I dragged you into this…cant help thinking about you.. =) ). I began to wonder about our future, because as early as now, I already want to make some plans on how I will build my own family…but before everything else, it is just right and practical to know the preludes and what’s in store for us as we enter the lifetime commitment of marriage.

For so many years now, modern and more radical philosophies have plagued the society along with the rapid changes in the technology. Horses and carriages were easily replaced by fast moving cars. Typewriters are nothing now compared to computers. Rice comes in instant too. Snail mails and telegrams were starting to get extinct. Sad to say, the same fate seems to be happening to love and marriage. Statistics show that more and more families become broken and more and more couples try the method of living- in together. How did we ever come to this sad plight?

Some people nowadays prefer not to marry. It is just OK, it is their choice. But still, human beings are social creatures. And my first question is, WHOM TO SHARE THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH? That will be the person with whom I plan to spend most of my adult years in the most intimate of all relationships; the one I want to co-create my would-be children with, and share my life at every level – no inhibitions whatsoever. A wrong choice could lead to tragedy.

Secondly is, WHEN IS THE PERFECT TIMING? Life nowadays isn’t so simple and I know i don’t get to pick honey from the tree without getting stung by the bees. Preparations, both emotionally and financially are very important. It connotes stability and permanence. Maturity is the secret key. Because early marriages often fail. Why?

Because immature person is immature in emotions.

With the right person and correct timing, we can now place ourselves into the marriage shoe. But we must be warned. For staying bounded by the marriage rope is much harder than searching for our lifetime partners. For a happy marriage, Dr. Ray E. Short formulated a proper recipe:

TWO + TU + TRUE = ONE

( Tu – a French word for “you” referring to a friend or beloved)

Take two normal, mature persons. Add a close “tu” relationship (with or without romantic infatuation). Let slowly simmer in strong solution of careful consulting with friends and families. Add common interests. Then stir in generous helpings of their own sense, and chill with the true findings of science. Mix the ingredients well. This will produce a happy lasting union with strong bonds.

On the duration of our marriage ( my meowchi has to accept my proposal first), I’ll try to build a lasting (not lusting) friendship, trust and sharing with my homey. I’ll provide for the family with the best I can. I’ll establish discipline among our children. And most importantly, I will work hard to maintain the love and respect within the family ( the same way I’ve seen my parents did to ours).

“You don’t marry one person; you marry three – the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as the result of being married to you.” - Richard Needham