Ssssssshhhhh

One day at work, a senior officer asked me out to have a “merienda” with him. Because he’s a boss and known for being a strict supervisor, I obliged. I felt awkward but the call of “pakikisama” is more compelling.

Halfway our meal, he suddenly asked me something which stunned me for seconds. “How’s your child?”, he said. I kept quiet for a moment thinking if I have talked to him about it. Or maybe he was just trying me. Then I remembered. It was one of my work colleagues.

Curse me.

When will I ever learn?

Me and my big mouth.

Although I had really no wish of keeping that fact a secret, I think this is not the first that I have mention this, I still think that privacy is vital. However, I know it was my fault that I wasn’t able to control my lips’ itching. During the time that I was talking to my boss, there were a lot of things circling my mind. Would it affect my job? What would my boss think of me now? And many other more worries. It was one of those situations I wish I could have changed if given the power to control time.

It wasn’t the only instance that I had curse myself for being such a loudmouth. I also had some unaware times when I was already divulging my friends’ secrets or some sensitive things to other people (whom they don’t know, of course). And I often feel guilty about it because I myself know how necessary privacy is. Sometimes worse, girls would leave me thinking that I am gay. But I just can’t help myself for wanting to strike others with my opinions, ideas, and examples to the extent of exploiting myself too.

Exploitation? Yes. When you tell secrets to almost anyone, you gain nothing but opinions (sometimes even discreet mockery) and it’s either they go with you or they’re against you. You give them the idea that you can’t be trusted. You risk yourself of having opponents. You strip yourself of the shield of confidentiality. You expose yourself too much giving other people the chance to penetrate your privacy and your enemies the opportunity to destroy you. It is just fine to be an open book to anyone for transparency reason, but there still things that are best kept inside us for security purposes. The world may such be stage for us actors, but not everyone in that stage is ready and interested to know your “skeletons in the closet”. That’s the way things really work.

My father once said, “you let other person (even just one) know your secrets and it’s not a secret anymore”. And just like any other realizations, it was also in the end that I have proven it true. Just tell one and the word will spread. Even with your most trusted friend or colleague. What’s worse, stories are sometimes changed. People will judge you without bothering to know the real score. It is unethical. I know..I’ve been unethical too.

Keeping secrets is an individual work for you don’t need any help from anyone. It also connotes that someone is trustworthy. If you with your own secrets cannot keep it to yourself, then anyone cannot guarantee that you will be given the full trust. How would you be able to do business with others if you are not reliable?

In success, sometimes you have to reserve your secret weapons for use at the right timing. Oftentimes this makes the difference.

The next time you think of sharing some of your “fragile thoughts” (should it be your very own or other peoples’) to others, ask yourself first…are you ready to get exploited?